Mr. Articulate

Dear Sweet Titus,

   I don't know why people hate the "terrible twos." I think it is my favorite age.  I laugh every day and feel overwhelmed with joy because of you, my little two year old. My little, verbal, articulate two year old. The things that come out of a smart 2 year olds mouth are hilarious. You are quite certain that you are the ultimate authority around our house, you are acutely aware of how to manipulate us by your cuteness and you speak in full, descriptive sentences.  You don't just say "no" or "yes," you will answer very assertively like, "No I don't want that, sorry mommy." Your voice is so precious and sometimes you make the "L" sound instead of the "R" sound, so you say things like "I'm leally leally cold, mommy!"  You had swim lessons these past two weeks and you were so cold so you kept yelling that to me. We aren't allowed to go over to the pool during your lessons so I had to let you keep crying to me without comforting you. It was so hard but you ended up doing great at swimming and now you love the water!  You also have started saying, "haHAhaHAHA" about things when you are being ornery. Its so funny and I am not sure where you got it.  Yesterday you pulled the stickers off your "good boy chart" and said, "I took these off, HaHAhaHAHA!"

I think of you constantly when we are not together and when I get home you are always so excited to see me and run into my arms. You beam at me and it is the best feeling in the world. Your little face is always messy, your hair is crazy and we call you "rooster boy" sometimes. You are so tough and yet so tender. You chase Maximus around and try to beat him up, even though you are the little brother and you adore your big bro. Then you will turn around and sweet talk baby Mariah who has been staying with us. You love to dance and shake your booty all the time. You still love motorcycles. Now we have to sing "Twinkle twinkle motorcycle" at night before you go to sleep.  I will always Love that special memory.

Life is good because of you. I love you more than anything Ty Ty.

My Strong-Willed, Stanky Legged Motorcycle Boy

Titus,
  I hate that it has been so long since I wrote to you on this blog. Almost every day I think of how much I want to record and document about this time in life and how much I want to say to you that you can't understand yet but will someday.

   Let me sum up the last 7 months since my last entry... I thought you were going to be "my difficult child." I began looking at books to help me deal with "the strong willed child," I sought wisdom from people I trust. I joked with family and close friends about you testing my wills and having inherited the "Johnson family temper."  You seemed like you went through a stage of 3-4 months where you were screaming and whining and throwing fits from the moment you woke up in the morning until bed time. I kept feeling your gums, hoping that your 2 year molars were coming in early and that that was what was causing the outbursts. I brought you to a pediatric ear specialist to see if I should get you tubes thinking you were having chronic ear pain. I started blaming myself for having a temper thinking that you may have witnessed it and thought that was an appropriate way to get what you wanted. I loved you all the while, but I was seriously struggling with how to manage your behaviors.

   Then about a month ago, things changed. You started communicating so much better. You went from muttering one to two words at a time to practically talking in sentences.  You really know how to make you needs known now and you are so much happier. In fact you spend most of your days now laughing and being silly. You say some of the sweetest things- like my favorite- "mommy hold you."  Maximus always used to say that and I loved it then and I love it now when you say it to me.  You pronounce things so cute too- like when you call Mars, "Gonch," and Hulk Smash, "Hoke Shash." You also like to tell everyone, "I'm Ty Ty" and anything Maximus says, you repeat, and usually laugh.

  I think my favorite thing you have been doing in this stage is what we call your "happy gallup." Whenever someone gives you food or tells you something that makes you happy, you do this happy little skip/gallup. I don't know where it started but it is adorable.  You also are the cutest dancer ever. You and Maximus like doing a dance called the "Whip and Nae Nae."  You are especially good at a move known as the "stanky leg."

  Did I mention how much you love motorcycles? By 'love' I mean you are obsessed with them.  Santa got you a motorcycle for Christmas and you really feel like a big boy on it. I am nervous that you will be a bit of a dare devil when you grow up because you seem to love high adrenaline things, like motorcycles and jumping off of tall furniture.

   You are still a huge eater and you poop a lot. You love sleep and usually ask for naps.  The more you grow, the more I think you have a lot in common with me, which makes me feel really good.  For example, I never liked my freckles until I noticed yours. I love everything about you.


              Love, 
                   Mommy
 

The Best of Times

Titus,
  It is official, the 12-24 month stage is my favorite.  Its when I have some of my fondest memories of your brother and its where you are now and you are reminding me just how fun it is.  You are really starting to understand the world. You think your brother is hilarious. You try to say a lot of words and you remember things that I never thought you would.  Its so fun to watch you interact with big kids because you think you are one of them.  At Maximus' soccer games you always run out onto the field with one of the spare balls and try to dribble toward the other kids.  You know you are being ornery sometimes and give me that little grin and run and try to get away with things. The way you walk and run is also so precious. You put those little hands up and try to balance as you move those little tootsies so fast.  I always say, "come here you, get over here you," and you run away shrieking with laughter.  You see your big brother give me flowers and you have started picking them off of our branches and bringing me crumbled petals. I wish I could save them all so I take pictures of all of them.
   As much fun as I am having with you boys, I regret to say I don't always act like it. While this is such a fun and happy time in life it is also very busy... and loud... and chaotic.  I admittedly don't do well when there is not order and calmness around me. So sometimes I start to get over-stimulated when you are crying, Maximus is whining, the dogs are scratching at the door, the family room looks like Christmas morning and I am trying to make dinner or do something else that requires my attention. Sometimes I stay rational enough to calmly distract you and Maximus with a game, the TV or whatever.  Sometimes I take a "mommy time out" and lock myself in my room for a few minutes until I hear you and Maximus stop crying (I keep you gated in the family room). Also sometimes I don't keep it together and I yell.  I almost always immediately feel bad, but I still can't seem to keep from doing it sometimes.

Your little tootsie is always sticking out

   Everyone says boys are hard when they are younger... and I suppose that is true. You guys are a lot of work at this stage because so much of what you do requires me to help you. While that is "hard" sometimes, it is also the biggest blessing I will ever receive- the opportunity to be such an integral part of your development and growth. One time recently your Paps looked at me when I was about to have a moment of panic/yelling and he said, "just think, all of this chaos is the sound of your happiness."  And he was so right. Someday I'm sure I would give anything to have my floors covered in toy trucks and soccer balls and super heroes. Someday I will see a water bottle and wish I could hear your sweet little one year old voice saying "mama" and pointing to it because you don't know how to say "water."
   The truth is, I am in the best days of my life. And even if I get overwhelmed sometimes, I won't lose sight of that truth. I love you so much. Thanks for being my joy.

Mama

The best swing. You stayed there for 30 minutes with me.

Walking, Talking Titus

Oh Titus you are in a fun stage!  We just got back from a trip to Ohio to visit family and by the end of the trip you had started walking pretty well.  We have been encouraging you for a few months now but you were mostly uninterested. I think being with your cousins helped.  Now we are home and you walk everywhere. You follow me around the house more quickly now that you don't have to crawl and you love walking around outside.  You always get this grin on your face because I think you feel confident and happy now that you can walk.  You are also very assertive. When you are walking you are always pointing and babbling as though you are telling us what to do. Its adorable. Your favorite sound to make it "ck."  You say "ck" for "truck" and "car" and "drink." I love it. I love how you think you are saying the real word.

I think you are going to be a very tough and strong minded little boy. You know exactly what you want and you make it known.  And even when you get hurt you don't make a big deal of it.  You might cry for a second but then you just kind of stand up and move on.  I guess you have to be tough since you have a big brother. You love it when he chases you and you chase him back.  Sometimes he playfully pushes you and you fall down, but it doesn't seem to bother you much, most of the time you just laugh and get back up.

The second year is probably my favorite stage for babies. Its when you will really start to understand the world around you and we will start to understand who you are as your own little person.  I am loving it so far. Everything about you is perfect in my eyes.

Love,
 Momma

Counting in Years

Happy Birthday Titus! Today we start counting in years as you turn one. It sounds so cliche to say but the time has gone so incredibly fast. Its hard for me to believe. Both the best part and the worst part about having kids is watching them grow up. At least this is something I am acutely aware of, and so I think I do pretty well at recognizing and basking in this absolutely perfect time in my life.

Right now I am watching you on the monitor as you crawl around in your crib happily playing with your stuffed animals and making sweet cooing sounds. Soon those sounds will be words and then sentences. Just in the past couple of weeks you seem to be more intentional in your interactions with me. You make your needs and desires very clear. Part of that is difficult as it means you have started throwing tantrums. Its also been really great because now you will make sounds and actions in order to get a reaction. For example, when I am rocking you at night and whispering sweet things to you, you always smile a great big ornery smile and shake your head no. You do it because you know I will say "yes I do," and then you will shake your head no again and laugh. I love those sweet moments with you.

As you grow cognitively you also are growing physically at a remarkable pace. You are shaping up to be a tall little guy- currently taller than 98% of kids your age. Your head is also huge- a trait your dad claims you get from me because I have a big head too. I just tell him it means we have big brains :). You are still on the skinny side, but you eat like a giant! The doctor said you must have a high metabolism because of how much you eat and poop! Luckily you eat good food too, not just junk. So far there are very few things I have found that you won't eat.  We had your first birthday party this weekend and you man-handled that cake! It was so funny to watch. And you loved playing with your balloons and interacting with everyone who came to the party. Grandma Nene even came from Ohio to help us celebrate you. One thing is very clear... you are loved extraordinarily by many, many people. I hope you recognize and feel that every day of your life.

Of course no one loves you as much as I do. We have a bond that no one can duplicate. My love for you is different than for anyone else. You are a calming presence to me. You are so incredibly innocent and sweet and when I look at you all of the chaos in my mind goes away. You don't even realize how powerful you are. You are every bit my baby, and yet you are growing up so fast.

I love you my 1 year old!  Happy Birthday to you!

Mommy

You riding your new tricycle with Maximus

Kisses for Mommy

Dear Titus,

You giving me kisses during our family photo shoot.

   I just want to record something sweet that you did recently that I never want to forget. Lately you have started giving kisses. Its not exactly a lips-together-smooch kind of kiss, though. Instead you do what all babies do when they are first learning to show affection- you open your little bird mouth and lean in to the object of your affection and give a sloppy, wet kiss.
   Well the other day, daddy, Maximus, you and I were playing around in the family room. Daddy started holding Maximus down and tickling him and I would "save Maximus from the tickle monster.' Then, the "tickle monster" turned on me and held me down and tickled me. Well... Mommy DOES NOT like to be tickled. I started screaming and pleading, and I am sure I sounded pretty dramatic and upset. Then, all of the sudden, you came crawling over as fast as you could and started kissing my face with your little bird mouth.

You and Me

    I think you were kissing me because thats what I do for you when you are hurt or upset. Its a natural reflex for me to just start kissing you to make it "all better." So, when I was upset you did the same for me.  It was such a subtle little thing, but it meant the world to me.

Those are the moments I live for.  I love you so much baby boy.

Mommy

Attached

Hi sweet Titus. You are 9 months old now. It sounds cliche but I really don't know how that is possible. It felt like it took forever for you to get here and then you got here and I blinked and you were 9 months. Its funny how differently you are already being raised than your big brother. When he was born I had him on a schedule by 4 weeks old. He ate at specific times, slept at specific times and I was always at least two months ahead on knowing what developmental milestones to be watching for. For that reason I was always keenly aware of how he was growing.

Perfect little you.

  With you it has been different. I have been raising you with more of an "attachment style" of parenting. Not because I think it was bad how we raised Maximus. In fact, I have no regrets on how he was raised. However, I think every child has a different personality and a different set of needs and so I will parent based on what I think each of you need. In your case you have been a very laid back baby from the start. You are flexible and sweet. You slept like a champ when you were first born and we got into the habit of letting you nap while we were out and about. So, I never really got you on a strict schedule. Because of that, you have never really had specific eating times and instead did "demand feeding." This has always worked out just fine until recently when you have decided to "demand" to be breastfed 3+ times a night most nights. A couple of weeks ago, daddy and I tried to break you of this habit and he tried comforting you when you cried at night (since he had no way of breastfeeding you, we figured this would work). Oh.My.Goodness are you stubborn!!! You cried in his arms off and on for an hour multiple times until finally on the second night I gave up and decided to continue feeding you at night for a little while.
   While at night I may be exhausted getting up to nurse you, I am absolutely loving the level of attachment we have right now. I know from experience with your brother that in a couple of years you will be more interested in your daddy and less interested in me. Maybe that is why this time around I am letting you get away with demand feeding a little longer... When you are "demanding," you are wanting me, and it is my honor to be the one thing you want most of all right now.

I hope this attachment keeps us close forever. I know that eventually you will be more interested in your dad, your brother, your friends, and eventually girls (Lord help me). But I will always think back to this special time and know that I was your first love.

-Momma

Happy Days Picnicking with My Boys